Alive – Jessie J
Released 23rd September on Lava/ Republic
Incredibly bland to the point or irritating, sometimes even crossing the line into outright crap. I mean, listening to the sound of lawnmowers at seven on a Sunday morning is more interesting and more pleasant than this brutally boring record.
What makes it all worse is the fact that is just keeps on going and every single track is undeniably more annoying than the last. I thought I was done for after the second cut, Thunder, but then Jessie J decided to continue her assault with the autotune torture device Square One and I realized that the entire record is completely irredeemable.
Actively avoid if at all possible.
NOTABLE CUTS: Excuse My Rude nearly hits the point of listenable, but lyrics drag it back into the realms of awful. Same goes for Wild.
TRASH: I don’t have the time to type out the entire tracklist here, but you get the idea.
The Last Ship – Sting
Released 24th September on Cherry Tree/ Interscope
Mainstay of the rock industry Sting’s eleventh solo album is a touching collection of Celtic folk inflections and stark personal revelations. It’s not particularly exciting or groundbreaking as such, but there’s enough simple beauty in these conversational reflections to keep listeners on spine-tingling tenterhooks.
Lyrically it’s a quiet powerhouse and musically it’s well crafted enough to provide an incredibly solid platform for that rarity of rock – good poetry.
I’d definitely recommend this one for whenever you get a quiet moment.
NOTE: Must revisit: this albums deserves much more than a simple first listen.
NOTABLE CUTS: Dead Man’s Boots/ Language Of Birds/ The Night The Pugilist Learned How To Dance/ The Ballad Of The Great Eastern/ What Have We Got?
TRASH: Surprisingly, I found nothing to hate on this record.
Closer To The Truth – Cher
Released 24th September on Warner Bros
Pop/ Electronic/ Dance
Certain to be a hit in all of the gay clubs, Cher’s latest offering is an incredibly catchy collection of four-to-the-floor disco numbers and forceful power ballads. It’s well crafted and well formed enough to hold interest the entire way through and it manages to offer a little something new without the audacity to piss off the diehard Cher fanatics.
If you’re ever in the dancing mood this might be the record of the month for you.
Also, if your shoes haven’t worn out by the end of this disco inferno and you want the party to keep on going then it’s worth throwing in the couple of extra dollars it takes to get the three bonus tracks.
NOTABLE CUTS: Woman’s World/ Dressed To Kill/ I Walk Alone
TRASH: Lovers Forever/ Favorite Scars/ I Hope You Find It/ Lie To Me
- Jessie J – Alive (nelipottblog.com)
- Cher in 2014 (capitalcitytickets.net)
- Album Review: Jessie J – ‘Alive’ (rawmusicent.com)
- Cher’s New Song Is A Cover Of A Miley Cyrus Ballad (contactmusic.com)
- Cher Tour: Dressed to Kill in 2014! (thehollywoodgossip.com)
- Cher coming to Winnipeg in June (metronews.ca)
- Cher on tour: ‘Road is horrible, but the concerts are great’ (today.com)
- You: Cher to launch Dressed to Kill Tour in 2014 (latimes.com)
- QOTD: Cher Goes In On Miley Cyrus (dlisted.com)
- REVIEW: Jessie J – ‘Alive’ (unrealitytv.com)